I Guess I'll Keep Walking
by N7Bane
Summary: Riku has trouble forgetting.


Disclaimer:I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Or Square. Or Disney. Pity. This is pretty Riku/Kairi.

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I Guess I'll Keep Walking 

I stood. I stared. Nothing to see. I stared anyway. No matter how long I stared, there was still nothing to see. So was the Realm of Darkness.

I moved on. I didn't know where I was going, but on I went. My feet were beginning to hurt. My shoes had worn out many days ago. I walked and walked, thinking about something, anything. I thought about home. I thought about my friends. I missed them. I thought about clean clothes. I missed them too.

I've been out here for three months. All alone. I fed off the darkness. There is no other way. What's the point of exile if you go back home to eat? It's rather redundant.

I wasn't completely alone. I ran into a few lost souls, drawn to the darkness. Normally, they didn't last long. Soon, they become Heartless, and they left, most likely to wreak havoc on the key-bearer.

The key-bearer. God, how I missed him. It didn't matter. I had to walk. That's all I'd had the strength to do anymore. But alas, how I missed him. Sora, my friend, maybe we'll meet again.

I stopped. I thought about why I was out here. Sora had promised me that everything would be the same. And that was the problem. It was. Everything was the exact same with everyone, except him, and her.

Her. Kairi. Lord, how I missed Kairi. She made life worth living. She's the only reason my heart didn't cave in to Darkness. She was – is – my light. I wondered how she felt when she discovered I'd left. I wondered how she felt now.

Walking. Walking. It was all I wanted to do. Just keep walking. That's it…Another step towards nowhere. Just an infinite amount more.

Kairi's face kept floating into my thoughts. I couldn't help it. It was too nice to forget.

Walking. I concentrated on walking. This foot, that foot, this foot again…

…Her bright eyes, her red hair, her beautiful lips…

I sat down. My legs hurt. My feet hurt. I wasn't out to hurt myself for some sick kind of penance. I was allowed to be comfortable. As I sat, I attempted to get her out of my head. I could already tell it was futile. I didn't want to get up, so I laid down. I didn't want to get up then, either. So I went to sleep.

…Her soft skin. Her playful smile…

She haunts even my dreams. Even the nightmares are occupied by visions of her face, bits of her voice, whiffs of her hair. I always saw her in a rage. She hated me. She would always be yelling at me. It was always the end of our friendship. Not always the end of the dream. Sometimes, she'd be yelling at me. I'd snap. I'd hurt her. I'd hit her. I'd end her.

And I'd wake up. Drenched in cold sweat, full of rage, angry that I could have such horrid thoughts, I'd wake up. I'd retch. I'd puke. I'd cough. I'd choke. Then, I'd get up and begin my day anew. And all through the day, I'd think of her.

I'd think of you. Kairi, I love you. That's why I'm here, now. Because I love you. But as long as I love you, I have to live with the fact that you're with Sora. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you. For both of you. But that doesn't mean I have to live with it. So I walk here, by myself. And I miss you. And I miss Sora. But I'd be an obstacle that eventually you'd have to overcome.

So on I walked, and so on I am walking. Today, I am walking farther and longer than ever. I'm going to keep walking into the night, or what passes for night around here. I'll keep walking for many hours. For countless hours. For days. I won't stop. I'll forget you. I promise. I'll forget you.

I didn't walk for long until the ground began to burn. That happens sometimes. Mainly when the darkness was concentrated. Maybe I'm walking near The World That Never Was. Maybe it's some other dark world. It doesn't matter. It just makes me want shoes. Soon, it'll pass, and my walk will become uneventful once more.

Sometimes I would find places in the Darkness where you can see more than the Dark. There are images imposed around the entire area. I am walking past one of these. It's full of faces. But they're burning. All of them, burning. I don't know why, but they are. It's rather sad, sad and grotesque. But I can't look away. It's too fascinating. Because the visions aren't of any actual flames. They are like little peep-holes, opening into the hearts of others. These are the hearts of people anguishing in Darkness. Some are heartless. There is no redemption. Some are close to the Darkness, Heartless-to-be. Some are simply ripped apart by some sort of conflict. Whichever it is, it's over now. I'm passed it. The only source of light in the entire Realm.

I found an entire nest of Heartless. They're eyes glow. They are looking at me, now they're looking away, and they are moving on. I am slaughtering them all. Otherwise, maybe they'll take more hearts. Maybe yours. I want to protect you.

You know, I don't know if Riku is even out here anymore. He's the one that came out here, but I think he's gone now. Maybe he's still with me somewhere. Maybe.

I think I can remember the breeze. How the wind blows, cooling my skin. It was nice. I miss that. I remember the taste of water. Crisp, refreshing. The aroma of food. The sight of the trees. The sound of footsteps. All precious. Maybe, someday, I'll get to go back. Maybe I get to go home. Only if I let myself.

There's a rock in my path. How strange. Why is there a rock in the Realm of Darkness? I'm picking it up. It's actually a box. Nothing in it. What a waste of space.

Walking. I'm still walking. I'm starting to like it. Even if I come back, I'll probably spend my time walking the beach. Maybe you'll come with me. Probably not.

You know, I'm beginning to think about things I never thought about before. Like, why does the Darkness take people over, why does it turn them bad, but it's left me alone? I've stayed here, in Its influence for a long time, and I'm still sane. Well, I'm not bad. Why did the Darkness choose to let me stay the same this time?

I wonder what I look like. Do you think I'm pale, being without sunlight for so long. I'll probably die if I'm exposed to too much light at one point.

"Screw it." I'm leaving. I'm holding my hand in front of me, and I'm opening the Portal. I'm out of here. It's kind of a drag.

Turns out the light doesn't kill me. That's the good news. The other news is that I don't know where I am. That's not bad news, just not the good news.

It looks like a desert. There is lots of light, lots of sand, lots of rocks, and no water. No trees. No breeze. Pity.

So I'm walking.

That was three weeks ago. This is now. I'm here in this place, thirsty but living, hungry but surviving, hot but enduring. This entire time, I've been walking. I'm alone in this wasteland, thousands of worlds from you. But I haven't forgotten the feel of your skin, your mischievous smile. You'd think these worlds would be enough. I guess I'll keep walking.

I'll see you again, Kairi. Maybe.

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By the way, the second-to-last paragraph is ripped-off from xkcd, the web-comic. Edited slightly, bit it's basically the same thing. No, I don't own xkcd either, that's why I just told you where that line's from. That's the comic that actually gave me this inspiration. It's called "Wasteland", by the way. 

Read and Review, if you would.


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